It's an interesting web we weave in life, how different events and meetings lead us to new awareness. Recently my interest has been in genetics and epigenetics, in regard to the BRCA2 gene mutation that is carried in my father's familial genetic background. He lost his sister to breast cancer in 1984, and in January we lost our cousin, Jenni. Various family members have since been tested for this mutation and some have been positive for it, and some negative. There's a 50/50 chance of inheriting the dominant gene mutation from a parent who is positive. I was tested, and waited the three long weeks to receive my results, and was very thankful that I am within the coin toss in our family that does not carry the mutation, thus there is no concern for my boys, or for myself in regard to that gene, except as supporter for those who are close who do carry the mutation.
The thing is, I have about 25,000 to 35,000 other genes that could very well carry mutations, or a genetic history that have the potential for disease states, either physically, mentally, or emotionally, or all of the above. The rising story of epigenetics and the idea, and fact being scientifically proven, that we are more than our genes and that we are not living time bombs according to the story written in our DNA, has led me to this point to deal with a health issue that has plagued me for much of my life. My weight. I know that everything I can do to enhance my health on all levels will greatly improve my chances for avoiding disease states and increasing chronic pain. As a practitioner of alternative medicine, I have been a strong proponent for incorporating all levels of a person into their healing. It is time for me to put into practice what I preach.
In the past I have tried the "tried and true" methods of eat less, exercise more. I successfully lost 45 pounds in about 9 months through Weight Watchers after my 3rd son was born with just these two tactics and the support of group meetings and an addiction to numbers at the weekly weigh-in. I am a Lifetime member and everything. That diet unfortunately was laden with aspartame-filled products and diet Coke, to which I was addicted. I was walking regularly, which felt wonderful and I was at my goal weight of 142 pounds for about 10 minutes, well, I guess really for 6 weeks in order to become a Lifetime member, and my weight has increased pretty steadily for the last 18 years. Then I made a commitment, for better or for worse to not get on a scale. I saw being on the scale as being a slave to a number. I lost some weight in 2000 as a natural consequence through my divorce, and again a few years later in 2004 through a phenomenal program by a fellow acupuncturist where I learned some healthy practices like yoga, alternate nostril breathing, organic eating, etc. I felt amazing, looked healthy, and have no idea how much I actually lost in those times because I wasn't weighing.
Now it's all back, and more. My life has made many very happy turns in the past 11 years, and I feel so very fulfilled in so many areas of my life, more so than I have ever dreamed. I have worked and worked over the years to unearth deleterious core beliefs and change them to help manifest my current, and very happy, reality. For some reason, though, this has not carried over to my weight and health. It feels as though this is a final frontier where I get to put my optimism, positive thinking, and abundant tools into action to feel fulfilled in the area of great health, working through the emotional issues and habits that have kept me heavier than is healthy for me.
The facts became evident when I stepped on the scale at Kaiser Permanente last summer, for a long overdue physical and well woman check up. I was astounded, yet, not surprised, when the scale registered my highest non-pregnant weight ever. No wonder my legs hurt, and it was difficult to walk with painful heels from plantar fascitis, and I was experiencing ever-increasing arthritic pain in my knees resulting from knee surgeries when I was 12 and 13 years old. Thankfully, all other tests, blood tests, blood pressure, mammogram, and an endometrial biopsy proved to be free of signs of illness.
This instigated a jump on the health wagon. We had just returned from our Honeymoon of wonderful sites and travels and delicious foods, and I was gearing up for another semester of pharmacy school. It was time to add some discipline. I joined My Food Diary online, and tracked everything I ate, got a reading every day as to how well I did staying within my fat, sugar, and salt goals. I was able to enter my favorite new and healthy recipes into the site and I was exercising regularly, and lost almost 15 pounds. Then the severe heel pain started, and intense pharmacy school seemed to suck dry all of my discipline and motivation, and the exercise stopped (too painful), and the eating chocolate, cheese and sweets in ever increasing quantities re-entered my life, and the last weigh-in at University Hospital when I went in for the follow up appointment with the Genetic Counselor proved that I had, indeed regained 10 of those 15 pounds.
So, before I re-reach my all-time high weight (that I'm aware of anyway), I am determined to get back on the healthy weight wagon, and add in the tools I have in my pocket, like EFT, yoga,tai chi, acupuncture, breathing, in addition to monitoring my diet (I like My Food Diary) and increasing my activity level to help address those underlying issues that have kept me on the vicious cycle.
I have so many tools! And so many quandaries! Why don't I use my arsenal of tools continually? Why aren't they ingrained in my psyche? Where does the self-sabotage come in? What causes the motivation to continue healthy habits to decline so suddenly? What part of me wants me to be at an unhealthy weight? This is where the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) comes in as a useful tool to clear the thoughts, emotions, and beliefs from my energetic system, clearing the way for increased balance and health. I first learned about this technique in 2002 or 2003, and used it with great success with myself, friends, and clients in terms of alleviating fears and anxieties. It's a very powerful tool with amazing results. I often still recommend it to my acupuncture patients and train some of them to do it on themselves as issues arise. There is a lot of information in books and on the Internet regarding EFT. There's even a free EFT manual one can download. I have it on my website www.StephanieBall.info. I'm also learning about Matrix Energetics which takes EFT a few steps further, and I will share more on that as I learn about it and put it into practice. There are other useful tools on my website including the Radical Forgiveness process and worksheets. I recently purchased a book called "EFT for Weight Loss" with this specific goal in mind. There is now an entire series of EFT books written by the founder of EFT, Gary Craig.
My first task is to write down all of my memories regarding my body image, eating patterns and attitudes about exercise. I am including anything that occurs to me and placing it in a master list and making a goal to work on at least a couple of the memories with EFT to clear them and bring to my awareness any further, more deeply rooted emotions, beliefs or thoughts that might have contributed to the memory. As I settle back onto the Healthy Me wagon (likely around the 1st of the year when things are a bit back to "normal"- probably something that needs "tapping" through EFT :-)), I intend to address any cravings, automatic behaviors, emotional issues, physical pain, and anything else that arises in this process with EFT and any other techniques that occur to me.
My intention with this blog is to track my progress and relay the tools I use to help completely heal my thought processes, and thus my body, regarding my health and weight.
Thank you for joining me on this journey!
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